Dismay of Σ
by Schwarz Engel
Summary: A parody prequel to the X games. Follow Sigma as he leads his incompetent group of Hunters against the Maverick menace! Comment and stuff. It makes this author happy.


Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Megaman franchise. You can tell this is true because Axl exists.

Chapter 1

**It All Starts Somewhere**

The area just outside the building was lively. Rubberneckers (some of whom, being Reploids, actually did have rubber necks) and reporters piled around the scene, just beyond the yellow caution tape. The darkness of night was lit by the multitude of spotlights, all aimed at the topmost window of the complex.

The tension was thick here. Thick like gravy. Or.....lead. Or something else of reasonable thickness. The point is that everyone was on edge. None, however, felt it more than the Hunters.

At the foot of the building, their gaze directed to the window of such focus, the three animalistic Reploids stood shoulder to shoulder. At least they would be if Boom Kuwanger wasn't, like, a head taller than everyone else. But if that weren't the case the description would _totally_ work.

"Damn," Spark Mandrill muttered, arms crossed. "The guy's just right up there, but we can't even touch him!"

"I say we just storm the place." Armed Armadillo offered. "Y'know, show no mercy. Like in the old days."

Mandrill wheeled to face his rodent companion, clearly shocked by this line of thought. "But we have to be more careful! There are lives at stake here!"

"No, I think he's got a point." Kuwanger muttered in disagreement. "The fact that he is a Maverick still stands. If we don't punish him, who will?" He turned his gaze to Mandrill, brow (does Kuwanger have brows?) arched.

"We can't afford to act rashly!" Mandrill's voice was reaching panic. "It's a hostage situation, you fool!"

"Pish posh!" Armadillo shot back. "Lets take this sumbitch down once and for all!"

Kuwanger stroked his shiny chin in thought, pondering the situation at hand. Or possibly whether the word "sumbitch" was proper English.

"Alright, stand aside people!"

The trio glanced back at the voice. Sure enough, the crowd parted to admit the balding leader of the Hunters; none other than Sigma! Also there was that purple dog thing he hangs around with, but let's face it, you don't even remember his _name_.

"Alright men," the abnormally tall Reploid commanded, "I'll need a status report."

"Commander Sigma!" Armadillo coughed out in surprise. "We all thought you had another week of vacation!"

Sigma sighed. "I did. Storm Eagle told me there was some sort of standoff and that you needed my help. Besides..." His gaze shifted nervously to Velguarder at his feet. "I think....I think he might have killed someone....."

There was a stunned silence among the group as Sigma went on.

"I mean....I only found blood, mind you! But Velguarder seemed somewhat content that night. And then the staff informed me that a maid disappeared on the job...."

It was Mandrill who cut in. "I'm sorry for your suspicion, but can we resolve this issue first?"

Sigma snapped to realization. "Yes! Of course. Your report, Mandrill?"

"Well sir, our Maverick is up there." He directed Sigma's gaze to the far window, despite the fact that a number of bright-ass spotlights had pretty much done that for him. "We have identified him as Murder Crow, but determined that there is only one of him." He pressed on despite the groans of everyone present, as well as a few individuals who were not actually in the same city but sensed that an awful joke had been spun. "We want to go in, but he has taken a hostage."

Sigma strode past the three, approaching the lobby doors. Velguarder was hot on his heels. "Is the hostage human?"

Armadillo picked up here. "It's himself, sir."

Sigma froze. I silence settled upon the Hunters. The petting zoo trio could make out slight tremors in their leader's body, but whether this was due to rage or the cold they could not quite decide. They should have realized that Sigma was a machine and did not feel cold like we do, but they weren't the brightest bulbs in the box. Or something.

"What...." Sigma half-turned, brain attempting to process this new information behind his poker face. "....what did you......?"

Mandrill took the initiative to resume his report. "He has taken himself hostage. He threatens to commit suicide if we penetrate the building. We are currently attempting to establish contact to see if we can't talk him down."

Silence fell again, followed swiftly by a pissed metal Mr. Clean.

"So what!? He's a Maverick! If we get to him we're going to kill him anyway!" Sigma had spun to fully face the Hunters by this point.

"We realize this," Kuwanger countered, "but the governor insisted that we use kid gloves for this incident."

There was a slight clang as Sigma planted his face firmly in his hand. "The governor......." He exploded forth. "MURDER CROW _IS_ THE GOVERNOR, YOU IDIOTS!!!!"

It was their turn to be stunned. A myriad of thoughts went through their minds as their frustrated commander towered over them. Where had they gone wrong? How did they not know who their governor was? What kind of idiots elected someone named Murder Crow to public office? Naught but questions arose from this incident.

"Look," Sigma said, "I'm just going to go in there and end that fucking bird. You're all free to come with."

"But sir!" It was Mandrill, who didn't seem to be with the program just yet. "What value is a life? If we endanger the hostage the Mavericks will win!"

"No," Sigma replied, using the infinite patience required to run a bunch of idiots. "If the hostage bites it, _we_ win!"

Armadillo seemed to bounce in place, growing antsy. "Hey, since we decided my plan was best, can we go in there already? I've been waiting all night for some homicide."

"Listen to yourself, fool!" Mandrill scolded. "You're talking about who lives and who dies!"

"Mandrill, we take lives on a daily basis," Sigma pointed out. "And, again, MAVERICK!!"

"But still!"

"Lets _GO_ already!" Armadillo pleaded in frustration.

"Not to derail your momentum," Kuwanger began, "but has anyone seen Velguarder?"

The arguing Reploids blinked, somewhat off guard, before realizing that the purple dog/wolf/whatever was nowhere to be seen.

"Well that's odd." Sigma noted, stroking his chin. "I wonder where he could be at a time like this......"

The were answered by a scream and sounds of scuffling above. The four glanced up, realizing that the spotlight-lit room was the source of the sounds.

"Aha!" Sigma cried enthusiastically as a severed robotic wing flew through the window. "He always was a clever dog!" His cheer was put down when a second scream rang out, followed by a splash of blood across the window.

The Hunters were silent once more, having fallen nicely into this habit of "silence following stupid shit."

".....Kuwanger."

".....yes sir?"

".....tell Sting Chameleon to clean up.....make it look like a cooking accident."

".....yeah, I'll get on that."


End file.
